It’s a faux fur Christmas
9th December 2012do women with executive presence roar
24th January 2014How to know what others think of you? The key is revealing your blind spot.
What others think of you matters – and for women, it’s not easy to get real feedback on how others perceive you.
In business, many men tend to get ahead simply because they ‘look the part.’ Okay, part of that is being male and, usually, tall. But the other part is that along their career path guys stick together – though not necessarily in the way that you think. Men are much more likely to point out a male colleague’s ‘blind spots’, those things that others know and judge us by but that we’re oblivious about.
Men are more supportive than women in giving feedback
While men also struggle with confidence and image, they have a leg up because they help each other. So, if a guy has bad breath, another man will more than likely go up, pull him aside and say ‘Dude, your breath reeks – have a mint.’ And no hard feelings, breath crisis avoided, and our man makes a fresh first impression.
How to tell a woman she has bad breath?
That simple question will send most professionals reeling – yet for men’ it’s easy. But for women, it’s a danger zone! Women much less likely to give a female colleague ‘negative’ feedback – and men will almost never give a woman any type of feedback to which she may take offense. It’s meant to spare feelings and because men don’t want to ever ever ever make a woman cry, but the net effect is women get far less input about how we’re perceived and blunders we’re possibly making, which puts us at a daily disadvantage that can mount up over time.
So, how can you make sure you know what others think of you and reveal your blind spot?
Find a friend! You want someone who knows you personally and professionally, who has ‘skin in the game’ and will give you feedback, too. Then make an agreement to give feedback honestly – ‘lemon secrets’ – those things they can see and you can’t and trust each other to tell the truth. Then, accept the input gracefully and gratefully! It’s one more way of improving your presence and getting to the top.
You can also hire a professional, like me, to give you unvarnished truth about your presence and practical tips to make sure other’s perceive you in the way you want to be seen.
In business, many men tend to get ahead simply because they ‘look the part.’ Okay, part of that is being male and, usually, tall. But the other part is that along their career path guys stick together – though not necessarily in the way that you think. Men are much more likely to point out a male colleague’s ‘blind spots’, those things that others know and judge us by but that we’re oblivious about.
Men are more supportive than women in giving feedback
While men also struggle with confidence and image, they have a leg up because they help each other. So, if a guy has bad breath, another man will more than likely go up, pull him aside and say ‘Dude, your breath reeks – have a mint.’ And no hard feelings, breath crisis avoided, and our man makes a fresh first impression.
How to tell a woman she has bad breath?
That simple question will send most professionals reeling – yet for men’ it’s easy. But for women, it’s a danger zone! Women much less likely to give a female colleague ‘negative’ feedback – and men will almost never give a woman any type of feedback to which she may take offense. It’s meant to spare feelings and because men don’t want to ever ever ever make a woman cry, but the net effect is women get far less input about how we’re perceived and blunders we’re possibly making, which puts us at a daily disadvantage that can mount up over time.
So, how can you make sure you know what others think of you and reveal your blind spot?
Find a friend! You want someone who knows you personally and professionally, who has ‘skin in the game’ and will give you feedback, too. Then make an agreement to give feedback honestly – ‘lemon secrets’ – those things they can see and you can’t and trust each other to tell the truth. Then, accept the input gracefully and gratefully! It’s one more way of improving your presence and getting to the top.
You can also hire a professional, like me, to give you unvarnished truth about your presence and practical tips to make sure other’s perceive you in the way you want to be seen.
