Do Women Have to Be “Likeable” to Get Ahead?
7th June 2014Executive Presence for Women: How to Polish Your Visual Facet and Look the Part’ Eden Image Coaching Series Book 2 is now available
19th June 2014How the Women on the Game of Thrones Project Power: Balancing Yin with Yang to Achieve ‘Classic’
I love Game of Thrones. It’s a great show with amazing female characters in power. And it’s a great example of how executive presence and personal branding can work for women.
The two queens, Danerys and Cersei, are blonde, beautiful and balance power and femininity. When I think about the issue of feminine idealism, I think about a character in the book and series, Brienne of Tarth, a woman who is nearly seven feet tall and who is scorned, rejected and pitied for her lack of feminine and social graces, despite being a kick ass warrior, honest, loyal, and determined.
The two queens, Danerys and Cersei, are blonde, beautiful and balance power and femininity. When I think about the issue of feminine idealism, I think about a character in the book and series, Brienne of Tarth, a woman who is nearly seven feet tall and who is scorned, rejected and pitied for her lack of feminine and social graces, despite being a kick ass warrior, honest, loyal, and determined.
Not to be a spoiler to anyone who hasn’t read the books, but unless the guys at HBO do something way off script, Brienne will not be a queen. She is a great warrior and one of the few truly moral characters in the entire series, but to be a queen, she’d have to have a makeover first. She would have to wear some makeup. She would need to wear clothing not made of steel. She would need some serious counter balancing. But before we make over Brienne, let’s look at some basics.
How do you project power as a woman?
The concept of Yin and Yang comes into play here. In a nutshell, ‘Yin’ is feminine and ‘Yang’ is masculine. If you think of them as being on either side of a seesaw, your objective as a woman in business is to balance perfectly in the center, which is ‘Classic’, neither too Yin nor too Yang. I am aware of my Yin/Yang balance every day. I’m average height and more Yin in appearance – so I wear more Yang clothes and accessories to level at ‘Classic’. If I were to wear soft flowy dresses in pastels, I’d look like a little girl. On the other side of the spectrum, Gia, a CEO I worked with in Chicago, was very Yang. Brunette, tall, and imposing. We had to intentionally introduce Yin to her style through softer cuts in her jackets and lighter weight blouses with less structure so that she wouldn’t be intimidating and cold.
How do you project power as a woman?
The concept of Yin and Yang comes into play here. In a nutshell, ‘Yin’ is feminine and ‘Yang’ is masculine. If you think of them as being on either side of a seesaw, your objective as a woman in business is to balance perfectly in the center, which is ‘Classic’, neither too Yin nor too Yang. I am aware of my Yin/Yang balance every day. I’m average height and more Yin in appearance – so I wear more Yang clothes and accessories to level at ‘Classic’. If I were to wear soft flowy dresses in pastels, I’d look like a little girl. On the other side of the spectrum, Gia, a CEO I worked with in Chicago, was very Yang. Brunette, tall, and imposing. We had to intentionally introduce Yin to her style through softer cuts in her jackets and lighter weight blouses with less structure so that she wouldn’t be intimidating and cold.
There are three elements to figure out your own yin/yang balance:
1. Do you look more feminine or ‘masculine’?
The foundation to understand where you are on the yin/yang spectrum is your physical self – your height, weight, age, colouring, features, and demeanor:
• Women who are on the extreme Yin side of the spectrum are ‘delicate’ – petite, small-boned, fine textured skinned, fair haired that is softly curled or tousled, youthful, and graceful.
• Women who are on the extreme Yang side of the spectrum are ‘dramatic’ – taller, with stronger bone structure, angular features, darker colouring, slightly coarser skin, sleek hair, and a bolder energy. They move purposefully, and are mature.
So, going back to Game of Thrones: Physically, Brienne is clearly Yang. She has fair coloring, but otherwise she’s completely Yang. Danerys is the most Yin of the trio, being petite and fair. In real life, the actress has dark hair – so by making her blonde, they’ve made her more Yin. Cersei is balanced in the centre – being physically rather tall and with angular features, she is also blonde with soft hair.
1. Do you look more feminine or ‘masculine’?
The foundation to understand where you are on the yin/yang spectrum is your physical self – your height, weight, age, colouring, features, and demeanor:
• Women who are on the extreme Yin side of the spectrum are ‘delicate’ – petite, small-boned, fine textured skinned, fair haired that is softly curled or tousled, youthful, and graceful.
• Women who are on the extreme Yang side of the spectrum are ‘dramatic’ – taller, with stronger bone structure, angular features, darker colouring, slightly coarser skin, sleek hair, and a bolder energy. They move purposefully, and are mature.
So, going back to Game of Thrones: Physically, Brienne is clearly Yang. She has fair coloring, but otherwise she’s completely Yang. Danerys is the most Yin of the trio, being petite and fair. In real life, the actress has dark hair – so by making her blonde, they’ve made her more Yin. Cersei is balanced in the centre – being physically rather tall and with angular features, she is also blonde with soft hair.
2. Do you have a feminine or masculine personality?
Another layer to the spectrum is one’s personality traits:
• Very Yin personalities are gentle, idealistic, a little shy, friendly, informal, warm, fragile, and desiring to follow and please.
• Very Yang personalities are more assertive, forceful, independent, firm, decisive, direct, daring, formal, cold, sophisticated, closed, desiring to lead and protect.
All three of our Games of Thrones characters have strong personalities that could be considered Yang, though Brienne and Danerys show a gentler side that is more Yin.
Now that we have their personality and physicality ‘plotted’, we would level Brienne as very Yang, Cersei as quite Yang, and Danerys is about level and slightly ‘romantic’ on the Yin side of the scale.
Another layer to the spectrum is one’s personality traits:
• Very Yin personalities are gentle, idealistic, a little shy, friendly, informal, warm, fragile, and desiring to follow and please.
• Very Yang personalities are more assertive, forceful, independent, firm, decisive, direct, daring, formal, cold, sophisticated, closed, desiring to lead and protect.
All three of our Games of Thrones characters have strong personalities that could be considered Yang, though Brienne and Danerys show a gentler side that is more Yin.
Now that we have their personality and physicality ‘plotted’, we would level Brienne as very Yang, Cersei as quite Yang, and Danerys is about level and slightly ‘romantic’ on the Yin side of the scale.
3. Do you dress feminine or masculine?
The tipping point now is clothing and styling. If you are physically Yin and have a Yin personality, you need to dress more Yang to be taken seriously. Conversely, if you are physically Yang and have a Yang personality, you need to dress more Yin to not be overly intimidating.
Thus, we need to plot clothing and style on the scale and use it as a tool to shift the balance:
• Yin clothing is softer, curved and rounded lines and shapes, small patterns and shapes, soft colors, pliable fabrics, lighter weight, finer texture, unstructured and untailored.
• Yang clothing is harder, with angular shapes and silhouettes, solid lines, larger shapes and patterns, bold colors, dark colors, firmer fabric, heavy weight, coarse texture, bold contrasts and tailoring.
On Game of Thrones, Danerys used to wear soft, floating, ethereal fabrics. Now she wears a jewel coloured tunic that is severely cut and a bone/claw choker around her neck – that’s a lot of Yang styling to show she’s serious and a queen to be reckoned with.
The tipping point now is clothing and styling. If you are physically Yin and have a Yin personality, you need to dress more Yang to be taken seriously. Conversely, if you are physically Yang and have a Yang personality, you need to dress more Yin to not be overly intimidating.
Thus, we need to plot clothing and style on the scale and use it as a tool to shift the balance:
• Yin clothing is softer, curved and rounded lines and shapes, small patterns and shapes, soft colors, pliable fabrics, lighter weight, finer texture, unstructured and untailored.
• Yang clothing is harder, with angular shapes and silhouettes, solid lines, larger shapes and patterns, bold colors, dark colors, firmer fabric, heavy weight, coarse texture, bold contrasts and tailoring.
On Game of Thrones, Danerys used to wear soft, floating, ethereal fabrics. Now she wears a jewel coloured tunic that is severely cut and a bone/claw choker around her neck – that’s a lot of Yang styling to show she’s serious and a queen to be reckoned with.
How to Makeover Brienne the Maid of Tarth so she can be queen
First, as you can see below, Gwendolyn Christie, the actor who plays Brienne, is stunning, striking, and gorgeous in real life. So, basically, Brienne could just copy Gwendolyn and she’d be fine!
First, as you can see below, Gwendolyn Christie, the actor who plays Brienne, is stunning, striking, and gorgeous in real life. So, basically, Brienne could just copy Gwendolyn and she’d be fine!
However, if Brienne was a real person who needed an update, we would need to work with her real personality and ability to change. She couldn’t go from Brienne to Gwendolyn with a flip of a switch!
If I was making over Brienne, I would first introduce Yin into her wardrobe and style in an authentic way. Because she is physically so yang, to bring her back to ‘classic’, we would need to counterbalance. I think her hair is great when it’s polished- so keep that – and just tweak some other details.
If I was making over Brienne, I would first introduce Yin into her wardrobe and style in an authentic way. Because she is physically so yang, to bring her back to ‘classic’, we would need to counterbalance. I think her hair is great when it’s polished- so keep that – and just tweak some other details.
However, if Brienne was a real person who needed an update, we would need to work with her real personality and ability to change. She couldn’t go from Brienne to Gwendolyn with a flip of a switch!
If I was making over Brienne, I would first introduce Yin into her wardrobe and style in an authentic way. Because she is physically so yang, to bring her back to ‘classic’, we would need to counterbalance. I think her hair is great when it’s polished- so keep that – and just tweak some other details.
The first five things I would change with Brienne so she can be queen:
1 – Have her wear blue to emphasize her eyes
2 – No more suits of armor – fabric only. She’s never going to be ‘girly’ – but she can wear velvets and show a little bit of throat, a 3/4 sleeve, a bit of a heel on the shoe
3 – Tint her eyelashes dark brown and her eyebrows medium brown- she’s a ‘no makeup’ gal and has great skin, but she needs some contrast. Tinted lashes will give her more femininity without looking draggish as she might with mascara
4 – A medium pink lip color that basically matches her natural lip tone and has a light gloss to make her polished
5 – Jewelry – earring studs and a necklace that has some yin properties
Read more in Coni’s ebook: ‘Executive Presence for Women: How to Polish Your Visual Facet and Look the Part’
If I was making over Brienne, I would first introduce Yin into her wardrobe and style in an authentic way. Because she is physically so yang, to bring her back to ‘classic’, we would need to counterbalance. I think her hair is great when it’s polished- so keep that – and just tweak some other details.
The first five things I would change with Brienne so she can be queen:
1 – Have her wear blue to emphasize her eyes
2 – No more suits of armor – fabric only. She’s never going to be ‘girly’ – but she can wear velvets and show a little bit of throat, a 3/4 sleeve, a bit of a heel on the shoe
3 – Tint her eyelashes dark brown and her eyebrows medium brown- she’s a ‘no makeup’ gal and has great skin, but she needs some contrast. Tinted lashes will give her more femininity without looking draggish as she might with mascara
4 – A medium pink lip color that basically matches her natural lip tone and has a light gloss to make her polished
5 – Jewelry – earring studs and a necklace that has some yin properties
Read more in Coni’s ebook: ‘Executive Presence for Women: How to Polish Your Visual Facet and Look the Part’
